


Temporary Duty Yonder

by evilkillerpoptarts



Series: Squad Di'kut [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clone Shenanigans, Command Chat, Fanfiction of a Fanfiction, Gen, Podfic Welcome, Soft Wars fanfic, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars, Star Wars AU-AU - Soft Wars, every member of this squad is a chaotic lunatic, number puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilkillerpoptarts/pseuds/evilkillerpoptarts
Summary: Temporary Duty Yonder: a GAR specialist's travel or other assignment at a location other than the specialist's permanent duty station as authorized by Commanders as needed to fill specialist slots if a permanent replacement cannot be found. This type of secondment is usually of relatively short duration, typically from two days to 189 days in length.With Squad Miit'nuhun, this is approximately two days to 189 days too long.
Series: Squad Di'kut [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830937
Comments: 34
Kudos: 145
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	1. Meet The Squad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear lord this was the most enabled of fics. I'm sure every person on the Soft Wars Discord provided something to this craziness. Special thanks to SailorSol for creating the word "miit'nuhun" for the squad, and Lady and whomever else I threw this at to beta. (It's been a while, sorry. Hondo Happened.)

  


The first time specialist Squad Miit'nuhun cycled through Torrent, there had been four of them. A bit rowdy, but specialists were usually... special.  
  
  
The second time, the squad had seven members, which was a bit... unconventional, though specialist units were different from Cadet squads and not necessarily limited to five. What had struck Rex as odd, though, was the impeccable documentation declaring them all as batchers.  
  
  
The THIRD time, there were THIRTEEN of them. All with the same flimsiwork declaring them as batchers, including a sworn affidavit from Shaak Ti stating she had been present for said decanting, despite that being completely impossible as Shaak Ti wasn’t even _on_ Kamino back then. Even more suspicious was the line crossing out “twelve” with a delicately written “thirteen” above it on said affidavit. Rex felt his eye twitch as he met the serene grin of the de facto squad lead, CT-4444. Fours. Because Fives wasn't enough, apparently; no, there were a whole bunch of other ridiculous CTs out there being inflicted on whatever hapless battalion needed specialists that tenday.  
  
  
…A whole bunch of other ridiculous CTs that had their own ship now. Huh. It was an ugly freighter with nose cone art painted in the same garish neon colors that decorated their armor. Freighter number 461375-808, AKA “Handbasket.” According to the datapad in his hands, their pilot, Razor, was a new addition. That explained why they had their own ship now, instead of being dropped off in the dead of night by a pilot who immediately fled back to their own battalion before the unwitting CC was notified of the squad’s arrival. Proudly emblazoned on the nose cone was the pilot’s designation of CT-7734, written upside down above the rest and… oh. Upside down the numbers looked like a word. Hell. Hell Razor’s Handbasket.  
  
  
_Priority Alert  
  
  
Rex: Can anyone explain why my request for one (1) medic has resulted in Squad Miit’nuhun landing on the Resolute.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: You said you needed a medic. There aren’t any available from Kamino right now and Squad Miit’nuhun has three and were available.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: …Of course there are three now. But BOSS is one of the medics. Kix hates him. There have been four attempts on Boss’ life and Kix once barricaded him in a closet.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: Maybe he’ll get along better with their newest medic, CT-5-8008. Calls himself “Nips.”  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: …What is WRONG with this squad.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Gree: They've spent too much time with Torrent  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: I've only had them twice, they've spent easily three times that with Star  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: Don't drag me into this.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: You sent them here  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: You needed a medic!  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Neyo: …this sounds interesting.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bacara: I have never been this grateful to be on the opposite side of a Separatist blockade in my entire life.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Cody: The arrival of Squad Miit’nuhun may be unfortunate but it is not an emergency. All hands stand down.  
  
  
Priority Alert Deactivated_  
  
  
Rex had a few Opinions about _that_ , but he also had a baker’s dozen of destructive idiots milling about in his hangar so he returned his attention to Fours’ bland smile. Fours was the only one still at parade rest. Razor was arguing with one of 501st engineers about how, exactly, to move the Handbasket into one of the vehicle bays, and how she was “too delicate” for the usual methods. The boxy freighter looked sturdy enough to handle a nuclear blast and Rex’s engineer had come to the same conclusion. The other eleven had quietly spread out in the hangar and several already had their grubby paws all over everything. Rex’s eye twitched again.  
  
  
“Squad Miit’nuhun,” Rex said, and the entire group sans Razor snapped to attention. One of them quickly dropped a tool back in the tool chest it had come from and another hid something behind his back. “I had requested a medic accompany the reinforcements from Kamino that arrived yesterday, but Commander Bly felt your Squad would be more suited to the task until a permanent replacement can be found.” His brother was going to face repercussions for that. Rex wasn’t sure what yet, but he knew he’d come up with something. “Corporal Boss, you _will_ leave Lt Kix alone.”  
  
  
“Sergeant,” Fours blithely stated, tapping the datapad Rex was holding. “He’s a Sergeant now.”  
  
  
Rex glanced down at the datapad and nodded. “My apologies, _Sergeant_ Boss. Same order. Sergeant Boss, Corporals Nips and Sigh,” he bit back a sigh of his own at those names, “the three of you report to Medical to get added to the rotation. As for the rest of you, I wasn’t aware your squad was coming so I don’t have enough bunk space. Can you stay on your ship until something can be arranged?”  
  
  
“Of course, that won’t be a problem,” Fours said, gesturing at the others, who headed back to the Handbasket. “Mack, put that down,” he added, seeing the object that Rex had noticed being hidden behind his back earlier. “You have plenty of toys on board.” Mack, who had the most carefully sculpted and feathered mullet Rex had ever seen, carefully put it back- Rex still wasn’t entirely sure what it was- and trudged back to the ship with his brothers. The three medics split off from the group, heading for medical. Fours watched their progress a moment before nodding and returning his attention to Rex. “Orders for tomorrow, sir?”  
  
  
Rex knew he needed to find them _something_ to do. He scanned through their specialties, trying to come up with something, anything. “For now, report for training at the beginning of Aurek shift. I’ll have individual assignments by the end of Besh shift.” A plan was starting to form, but he would also owe a lot of favors by the end of it. So many favors. He was going to have to murder Bly; surely the other Shebse would forgive him.  
  
  
“Yessir,” Fours said, snapping off a proper salute and turning to herd the rest of his squad on board the Handbasket. The harried engineer who’d been arguing with Razor had given up and stalked off as Razor won the right to pilot the Handbasket into a vehicle bay rather than tow it per standard. The engineer was glaring murderously after the garish freighter and standing far too close to the welding equipment for Rex’s comfort.  
  
  
...Oh, well, if the rest of the squad ended up welded inside the Handbasket that would also solve several problems. Rex had more important things to do than deal with a lesser degree of Shenanigans than Squad Miit’nuhun were known for. He frantically typed on his comm while power-walking towards squad berthing.  
  
  
_Rex: Cody  
  
  
Rex: Cody you need to borrow my ARCs right  
  
  
Cody: ...No?  
  
  
Rex: Let me rephrase. I am sending you Fives and Echo. I know you’ll return them.  
  
  
Cody: Rex, no.  
  
  
Rex: You know Fours has been trying to seduce Fives into his squad since the first time they met.  
  
  
Cody: ...I think **seduce** is a bit strong of a word, here.  
  
  
Rex: He’s managed to collect CT-2222 and CT-7777 since the last time he was here. He already had CT-6666 and CT-3333. He almost has the full set now  
  
  
Cody: I feel like I should be discouraging this but you might have a point.  
  
  
Rex: Of course I do, Heavy and Cutup are going to KILL HIM and Droidbait will cry. I don’t even want to know what Echo’s contingency plans are  
  
  
Cody: Fine. Do NOT let any of the other CCs know  
  
  
Rex: THANK YOU I will be the soul of discretion_  
  
  
That wrinkle ironed out, Rex burst into Domino’s quarters, flicking on the light as he did so to a chorus of groaning and complaints. “Fives, Echo, you have a mission,” he barked. The two ARCs snapped awake and started armoring up immediately, which set a warm burst of pride through him. The remaining Dominoes were watching their brothers and Rex with varying levels of concern. While the two ARCs got ready, Rex was already sending orders to the hangar deck to have a ship ready to go by the time he escorted the duo there, along with orders to rendezvous with the 212th for the handoff. Even on short notice Rex had little trouble making up some official-sounding nonsense as a cover for this last-minute ‘mission.’ Orders sent through, and both ARCs were already standing at attention in front of him. Perfect.  
  
  
“Our mission, sir?” Echo asked politely.  
  
  
“I’ll explain on the way to the hangar,” Rex said, stepping into the hall to give Domino some semblance of privacy for quick well-wishes. Both ARCs joined him in short order, Fives deliberately ignoring the light switch while Echo took pity on their squadmates and turned it off and closed the door. Echo elbowed Fives in the ribs and Rex pretended not to notice.  
  
  
“So, mission?” Fives was wide awake and far too enthusiastic for this hour. Rex sighed and led the way.  
  
  
“Instead of a medic being included with the reinforcements that arrived yesterday, as I explicitly requested, Squad Miit’nuhun was assigned to assist until a suitable medic can be located. To prevent fatalities you two are going to the 212th until I get them off my ship.”  
  
  
“I see why you didn’t mention this in front of the rest of Domino,” Echo murmured.  
  
  
“Oh, c’mon, Rex, what’s the big deal? It’s not like I can’t handle the seven of them. Besides, they want me. I’m not even playing hard to get!” Fives managed to maintain a smirk even as Echo’s elbow hit him in the ribs again.  
  
  
“They just want you for your _numbers_ , vod.”  
  
  
“Details. You know I like the weird stuff.” There was a third crack of plastoid as Echo’s elbow was again introduced to Fives’ side. “You know that doesn’t actually hurt, right?”  
  
  
“It’s the principle of the thing.”  
  
  
“Fives, you know Squad Miit’nuhun is a unit of thirteen,” Rex interrupted, voice wry. He gave it a beat to let that sink in. “Shaak Ti states they’re all batchers so they can’t be split up, that’d be cruel.” Echo made a strangled noise that echoed oddly as they stepped into the hangar. Rex glanced in the direction of the Handbasket, relieved to see the hatch closed and no garishly bright armor among the sparse hangar crew at this hour. The ship he’d requested to send Fives and Echo to the 212th was being prepped at the opposite end of the hangar. Rex wondered which of the deck officers needed to be thanked for that as he all but shoved his ARCs in that direction. The sooner they were out of sight, off this ship, the better. “Behave yourselves,” he said firmly. “This is Commander Cody doing me a favor, not you two getting ‘kidnapped.’ No shenanigans.”  
  
  
“But _they’re_ going to be up to shenanigans,” Fives protested. It was very nearly a whine.  
  
  
“No, _they’re_ all going to be kept very, very busy while I comb the GAR for another medic.” Rex looked grimly determined. “And tomorrow morning I’m going to let the rest of Domino and whomever else wants in to destroy them in Murderball.”  
  
  
Echo’s entire mood visibly lightened. “I’m looking forward to hearing about that, sir,” he said cheerfully. “We’ll be on our best behavior.”  
  
  
“Rex tell Jesse I am putting everything on Domino,” Fives burst out. Echo grabbed his arm and towed him the rest of the way to their ship. Fives twisted in his grip to continue shouting at Rex, much to Echo’s consternation. “And there had better be footage!”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando'a:
> 
> miit'nuhun: pun. Literally "word joke." Created by SailorSol.  
> vod: brother  
> di'kut: idiot  
> Shebse: Asses/Assholes. Rex's cadet squad name. (Soft Wars-specific)
> 
> Temporary Duty Yonder (TDY) is actually A Real Thing in the US Armed Forces. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporary_duty_assignment


	2. Murderball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says on the tin.

  


_ Priority Alert  
  
  
Rex: Bly your squad is criminally bad at Murderball.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: They're not my squad  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: I looked up the numbers of their ship and it used to be registered to your battalion so they're yours  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: and they are so. bad. at Murderball.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Wolffe: Why are they playing Murderball? I thought you needed the specialists?  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: I needed a medic and got three medics and ten other assorted idiots  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: Which is exactly the number of idiots required for a team in Murderball  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Doom: I thought you needed a medic because you are still fighting this war. You know. The one we are in.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: We're between fronts at the moment.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: The 327th is officially demoted to "Worst at Murderball" by association.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Gree: ...Wait they stole a ship from Bly?  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: The general assigned them a ship  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: It's hideous, Ponds, you'd love it  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: The Handbasket really is an ugly ship.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Neyo: They named it THE HANDBASKET  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: Rex I need pictures  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Rex: Please stand by.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Neyo: When do I get a turn with this squad?  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bacara: You don’t.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: Rex no don’t send him **pictures**  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: ...Oh no.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Wolffe: NO.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: Don’t you say it  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Cody: Ponds NO  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: It’s CUTE  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: They used my colors!  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: Lightning’s color is brown and the Handbasket is definitely not brown.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: Not Lightning’s colors, **my** colors  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Wolffe: You mean All of the colors  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: Yes, exactly.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Ponds: Cody. I love them. They’re mine now.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Doom: I give up.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bacara: Unprofessional.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Cody: **Ponds.** Also, I agree with Rex. The 327th is officially demoted to Worst at Murderball. Now all hands stand down.  
  
  
Priority Response  
  
  
Bly: WHAT  
  
  
Priority Alert Deactivated  
  
  
General Alert  
  
  
Bly: Cody WHAT  
  
  
General Response  
  
  
Cody: Rex has footage. He’s right- your squad is terrible. As they spend the majority of their time as an attachment to the 327th, that makes the 327th Worst at Murderball.  
  
  
General Response  
  
  
Ponds: REX I NEED THAT VIDEO IMMEDIATELY _   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando'a:
> 
> miit'nuhun: pun. Literally "word joke." Created by SailorSol.  
> vod: brother  
> di'kut: idiot  
> Shebse: Asses/Assholes. Rex's cadet squad name. (Soft Wars-specific)


End file.
